The Seventh Day Struggle

I have struggled today with the simple logistics of life and life with special needs children. After a nice night's sleep and waking up quietly, taking a nice hot bath, and getting my hair done, one of my children announced that the disposal was not working. It was working, but the sinks in the kitchen were clogged. My junior plumber, age 13, had decided to fix it and took the ''U joint'' (I think that is what you call it) off and drained the water into big pans. In the process he flooded the kitchen floor and the water ran into the basement, staining the carpet and knocking out a ceiling tile. The carpet has been treated and I have to wait until tomorrow to call a plumber ~ really don't want to have a Sunday visit with its extremely high cost. I help to clean up the mess on both floors of the house, determine that the carpet can be cleaned up and that the ceiling tile can be replaced. I realize that my son knows what he is doing, but doesn't quite prepare for the worst ~ and that his technical skill is amazing for a boy with only one arm.

As I was getting ready to leave for the office ~ have to finish up today for the big event tomorrow which starts early in the morning, I discovered that my 12 year old special needs child had piled all of her dirty clothes on the floor of the closet and covered them with a blanket. At that point I left her and her older sister to finish up their chores -- the older one has the dubious job of checking up on two of the bedrooms. She had told me that everything was ''good to go''. I brought the other two who were ready to the office with me. But all of that struggle took one half of a beautiful day and I again am feeling frazzled. As soon as I got to the office, the 13 year old plumber started calling me from across the hall, interrupting me as soon as I began to get something done. I am committed to enjoying the children and accepting them as they are. But, like my oldest grown daughter, I get ''tired.'' She is working for a season in a seasonal job and writes, ''I don't know how you do it. I am so tired at 9 o'clock at night.''

I tire from the bickering, the jockeying, and the constant interruptions. I also know that I would be a far different person without these special children with whom I share my life. I end up taking the two who are in the car to lunch before going to the grocery store and I have a delightful meal: cod with a light lemon sauce on a bed of baby spinach, a salad with a delicious dressing (I eat only a tablespoon of it),a light penne pasta (very small portion) with a light marinara sauce on it. I have a cup of coffee which alleviates my headache (I forgot to drink any this morning). Then I walk through the grocery store at a brisk pace and get 30 minutes of grocery store exercise. I finish all of that feeling much better and go home bearing a pizza for the other two who are crabby. I tell them they can have all of it that they want. I marvel at how well I feel after eating an almost perfect meal and I go back to the car, stopping to take a photo of the bush ~ my favorite bush, blooming where it was planted for unknown reasons ~ responding the care of my son who loves it.

The delightful and perfect meal, great day of eating,the beautiful day, the 30 minutes of walking around the store, and the coffee have left me feeling much better. I leave again to return to the office to try to get two hours of work done, knowing the week ahead is going to take more than ''dancing with time.'' I am going to have to do the jitterbug!

I've managed to center again even in the face of a day which lacks the productivity that I needed but ended with my having written on My Food Diary ~ twice ~ enough to post on my blog. I am glad that I stopped to take a photo of the bush which is blooming in an incongruous place in my yard ~ I love and identify with that bush.

When I return to the office, I get a note from my staff member whom I admire ~ about a note I sent out to the staff ~ saying that the note was great and to rest for the rest of the day. And I can feel that I have lost at least a couple of pounds since I started. So I have managed my emotions and my eating, had a pleasant lunch with two of the children, had a bit of fellowship with a couple of staff at the office, and am back at my desk for a few hours. I'm posting and returning home to get a night's sleep and be back here early.

I will sleep enough tonight to assure that I stay centered and healthy tomorrow and it will be another day. I love the quotation on My Food Diary today, ''It is never too late to be who you might have been.'' It's by George Eliot and I realize that I believe that it is not too late and that the remainder of my life can be more than I ever dreamed of as a young woman who was addicted to food and covering up for anxiety and low self-esteem. I am much kinder to others and to myself in these older years and I want the high integrity life. Like this blog, it will come in small efforts. It will be a steady and growing ability to choose happiness and health -- and I realize how far I have come and that today was actually a great day!

There is such a deep connection between managing the eating and managing everything else.