January 17, 2010 - No Floundering!

I am a "lurker"--someone who visits blogs but really comments. I've been struck with the ups and downs of all of us in the WeightManagementOSphere. Basically since November 27, 2010 I've gained 3 lbs and the only thing I can say about that is that it is a miracle that I haven't gained 20. Pure and simple -- I need to take off 95-100 lbs. My knees would appreciate it. My self-esteem demands it. My daily practice must support it.

This morning I ate a perfect 300 calorie breakfast. I am sure that the next phase of this often halted journey will require meal to meal and time of day to time of day, minute to minute attention. I will not stop to beat myself up, makes excuses or even to try to analyze what happened. It's Monday morning and it is a holiday. I've eaten a perfect 300 calorie breakfast and I'm quite comfortable. It is also noon -- I slept really well last night and really late -- I woke up more relaxed and comfortable than in a long time and I have no explanation. Relaxed and comfortable is a good place to be when reconnecting with food, loving it, and eating delicious nutrious foods. I will log in again as the day progresses.

I've loaded My Food Diary on my iPhone. This is the season to get organized -- snow, ice, and school closings. So I have given myself a set of internal marching orders for today -- meditated this morning and went deeply into my center. I need my old sign which used to be a fish with bait on a hook being lowered into its mouth surrounded by a red circle and bisected with a slash. Below it the sign had two words printed on it, "No floundering." More a bit later about what that means to me. The definition of floundering in my family is somewhat different than that in the Urban Dictionary. It means flopping around, gasping for air, and being helpless. It means over-thinking, over-analyzing, over-planning, and setting too many goals. It means looking at things from more angles that it could possibly have. It means denial and excuses. Mostly it means making a lot of (sometimes sophisticated) excuses and justifying ridiculous behavior and in my case, addictionb. It means diverting oneself from the immediate situation by flopping around. And along with it's counterpart concept of "Not Taking the Bait", it is what I do when I am talking myself out of doing what needs to be done.

Just repeat after me -- "No Floundering."