Saturday, May 5, 2012
Falling in Love With Food
I remember that when I started and successfully lost 85 lbs that I was fascinated with the idea of loving food. Like many with weight problems, I always thought food was the enemy. Actually addiction was the enemy. This year I have come to realize that whatever the source of the addiction, my response to sugar and hunger is extreme. I've embraced all of the theories over time -- and I now believe that obesity is a multi-faceted disorder, impacted by the U.S. diet and the body's response to it. I crave sugar when I am stressed. I eat too much of the wrong and seductive foods. Thinking it is not my fault or it is my fault -- thinking it is an addiction or that my body is hijacked by processed and fast food -- thinking I am just going to be fat or that it is too late -- all of those thoughts are not worth thinking. The goal of losing weight is health and mobility. When I got into the "groove" that I didn't maintain; I had a few rules. I exercised 3x a week. I didn't weigh myself or own a scale. I used to weigh myself every few months in Bed Bath and Beyond. I ate a balanced nutritionally dense diet. I maintained awareness of nutritional density and of low glycemic choices. I ate 5-6 times a day. I kept my calories at 1200-1300. And I maintained awareness. I fell in love with food -- added new foods to my diet -- things I had not eaten before and I worked at loving my food and savoring it.
Since I have changed jobs and regained some weight, I've become searchingly honest about my responses to fatigue, movie theaters, stress, anger, and skipping meals. I've made a terrific gain in getting enough rest every night and staying detached from stress. I've been gaining and losing and regaining the same 5 lbs. It has become a pattern.
Now it is time to focus on losing weight and achieving my goal. I have a comment from Sean Anderson on this blog which says more than anything I could say -- he talked about making a permanent change on a deep and permanent level. I confess that I have not really believed that such a change is possible. But Sean stands out as someone who faced the bottom of a food addiction and has changed on a deep level. If you haven't read Transformation Road, order it and read it!
I am going to throw out the scale today and return to the success strategies which worked for me before. Tim and I are going to do strength training today and I am going to do 30 minutes of gentle walking on the treadmill. I have to work out a 3x a week schedule for both cardo and for strength training. And I will blog each morning before I start my day.
Tim will join me from time to time with comments. Pushing the restart button -- one, two, three -- RESTART!